Pearl's of Wisdom From Chris Giddens

Items overheard on IRC from the keyboard of Chris Giddens

• Mmmm hick'ry farms salami pipe thing... That's good eatin
• Grits > Fish Tacos
• And no one can argue that grits, cheese and eggs ain't good eatin
• Don't spit
• Actually I'm a Voltron of chandlers... Each a different color combining in to one super chandler
• Rule #1: to make a cool space moc, do not use 70's headlight bricks
• Rule #2: Wagon wheels do not a radar dish make
• 'mater sammich is good eatin
• About as peaceful as two cats tied by the tail and flung over a clothesline
• PCS gear may be spindly but they's strong. Their last baby, came out sideways. They didn't scream or nuthin'
• Ice is what happens to water when it gets too cold. And then there's jello... which only turns back into liquid when you put it in your mouth and go "SHUCHKASHSUKWUSHKA*
• I'm actually fulla puddin'
• Bah! Too many werds, is there a cliff notes version?
• Me no rede? that umpossible
• ooo, my coffee from Monday is growing fur. They've built docks and cruiseships and they're touring the coffee cup fjord
• Midnight wafflehouse is calling
• Cardboard tube + boat noises made through it = dog going nuts
• Google will become the antichrist
• I go to circuit city for all my preshcool toys
• I will see lego's decision to change the colors as if they had come to my house and stomped on all my minifigs. Including the ice planet babe, cuz she's hot
• Rule #3: If your MOC has 3 colors of glass and 5 colors of bricks... Try again
• If you ain't got on yer big boy underoos then don't post or reply here
• Oh well, time to discuss what form of frahd suthun cookin I'm gonna have for suppa
• Catfish, frah'd steak, chikkin... Ya dang tootin
• Complainin' on LUGNET shows you want Duplo from Santa
• You have entered a small cave, your virginity is in no danger. What do you do?
• Pregnant wife + sweet tater pah = baby about to run through tummy
• Some freeze them off... But some burn em
• Mark whooshed a sheep; you'd think he lives near me
• Sweet Tea = Country Boy Coolant
• Cow, chikkin, and potato plus coffee... It had all 4 food groups
• One day all the forces of space... 600D, 3vil and more shall banninate together to remove the scurge of castle
• My wife's daily desire to watch "The Nanny" will cause permanent damage to our relationship
• Dang I'll watch the wiggles before that. Maybe even, dare I say, teletubbies
• Waffle house's only negative: no gravy
• Classic Space = Fly Me to the Moon
• Major Tom = Classic Space
• Space Cowboy can be Spaceport or Ice planet... Cause the lady astronaut... She's hot
• I was up late the other night and saw the Time Life Hee Haw DVD set and thought "I should get that fer my dad"
• If you see the HEE HAW DVD set as the perfect christmas gift for a loved one... You might be a redneck
• I am such a redneck
• Is there a Canadian lazy no work day today? Odds are always good there is one
• I'm all charged up with waffle house, I can build anyting
• Mom did soon learn though that there are no amount of taters this boy can eat at one sitting that will make him sick of them
• "Mark Twain never knew what good eatin was, cuz he didn't meet me" - Chris Giddens
• If we hafta eat pills in the future, cover mine with gravy
• No, you're the gilbert who wrote the HMS Pennifore
• Cow mutilations are up. And Ike said, "hey look, give us your technology, we'll give you all the cow lips you want
• Boy, you suck more than a vaccuumm with a new bag
• PO may stand for purchace order... But for me it means something else
• Well, me and my friends love Larry and Moe, we love Curly's brother, Shemp and his fat clone, Joe. It's such a delight to boogie and hustle. Dancin all night doing the Curly Shuffle
• Man zoomin' in on his hasslehoff too
• Yer so lame Jesus would hafta heal you twice
• Do not taunt iPod shuffle
• A baby is all about the excretions the first few months
• You should use a product called Beano... It'll help
• Preparation H is good for the 'roids
• The nutty anime dude's will slap this on their girlfriend figs faster than the last shrimp moves at Shoneys on Saturday night
• If your girlfriend writes her name in the snow, offer a razor then run like the wind
• It's COLOR... Don't add yer canadian letters to it
• Color Me Zartani with crayons
• Silly canadian, discount is for americans
• Beans are an excellent source of protein and fiber, and we celebrate them in song
• I am no monkey.. I don't sell paint... and I don't put bibles in hotel rooms...
• Of all the things I don't understand in this world... Wicker is the most difficult...
• Casseroles have no age limit
• Casseroles give us needed warmth
• Casseroles contain many of the basic foodgroups: meat, overcooked veggies, and buttery crumbs
• Hashbrown casserole is God's perfect food
• Tater + casserole = 2 scoops of awesome in every bite
• Butta beans that's as big as yer big toe is nasty, other than that butta beans rock. And can make you rip the sheets at night
• Hey calm down buddy, yer as worked up as a puppy with two peters
• Hey, I'm thankful for many things in life... Even though I have only 2 teeth, I'm thankful that they meet
• Best redneck sayin' ever: When asked about the size of his belly, Redneck said "Yeah, when you got a nice tractor you gotta build a good barn over it"
• Mmmmm chikkin and dumplins, that there is some fahn eatin'
• Squirrel is to high in bad cholesterol for me
• Usta be so awesome ridin' tail gunner the station wagon, until you got car sick and had to get dad to open the back window to vomit
• Above all things... and I mean this... Foreigner sucks
• Were Rush to cover a Foreigner song the universe would explode because of the mixing of Anti-suck and suck
• Pregnancy does something to you... it must... because my wife now enjoys re-runs of the Match Game
• I got a Diaper Genie poopy link right where I can get at it... Don't make me smack you with it
• Husky is such an evil word with me
• I hate cats
• Were I to want to be a luzer I'd move north of the great lakes
• ooo look I see green grass. ooo and a little birdy. He's tellin me it rocks here... In canada it's crappy
• She got off the wild turkey last year... The snuff is givin her fits now
• Does your brain not have a mute?
• Freeze rays... Heat rays... Death rays... Ah, those were the days
• Chester Cheta is your friend
• The sound of Robin Williams grates me more than tighty whities that are 4 sizes too small
• That joke was cornier than Oprah's poop on the 5th of July
• ooo and the lizard baby was good but ugly... and the regular baby was bad but cute... It made us think... like that episode of Superfriends, where the good monsters were ugly but we assumed they were bad... that we shouldn't judge a book by it's cover... and not have sex with aliens
• My dog hides his cholit all in my back yard... I can tell cause the grass is greener there
• I drank a V8 once... made me throw up 4 days worth of upchuck. *PLEUAH*
• Bottlerockets will continue their flight and explode under water. And make smoke filled bubbles and a cool orange light under the water and a sound like *BLERUB* Much like me and mexican food
• Nothin' sounds funnier than a poot in a bathtub either. Just remember yer childhood. *terrubububububle*
• You can't BBQ tofu... It'd be like kissin yer sister
• iffin you've never had real suthun chikkin and dumplins you ain't lived
• They found methane on marz.... Whoever was the last one off the planet left a stinker for the next visitors
• WHOO, My son just farted like a man. *sniff* I'm so proud
• Ranch is fine eatin on pizza
• I don't see many Canadian Cuisine chains around the country
• Venison stew with dumplings and spring taters was always good good eatin'